| The Best Charlotte Player of All-time: Part Five – The Final Four Authored by David Mosley - May 21, 2005 - 11:25 pm
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Before we get started, I would like to address the reason for the lengthy delay between the elite eight games and the final four. Unfortunately, the four remaining players decided to go on strike until I agreed to share some the profits from this tournament with them. After a month of intense negotiations I was able to convince them that nobody was getting paid for this tournament, but because I’m a nice guy I decided to offer the winner a date with Mandy the Honeybee (I haven’t told her yet).
After 60 grueling games and a month of gut-wrenching basketball, we have finally narrowed the field of the best Charlotte NBA players of all-time down to four players: Kelly Tripucka, Larry Johnson, Anthony Mason and Baron Davis. These four players represent of the best ballers in the 17 years of Charlotte’s checkered NBA past. So before the city’s franchise moves again, let’s get this tournament over with.
The Final Four
Baron Davis…….(2001-02) 18.1ppg 4.3rpg 8.5apg
Larry Johnson ….(1992-93) 22.1ppg 10.5rpg 4.3apg
Anthony Mason ..(1996-97) 16.2rpg 11.4rpg 5.7apg
Kelly Tripucka …(1988-89) 22.6ppg 3.8rpg 3.2apg
Game 1 – Anthony Mason vs. Kelly Tripucka
Anthony Mason had to be the favorite in this game after defeating Alonzo Mouring, but Kelly Tripucka was riding a wave of confidence after knocking off one of the pre-tournament favorites, Glen Rice. Does Tripucka have any magic left in those sweat-soaked Lycra undershorts? Will Mason be able to out-muscle another opponent to get to the finals?
Tripucka started the game on fire, carrying over the momentum he gained in his regional victories. He hit his first 4 shots from the field. Tripucka seems to have embraced the jeers and boos from the fans and even showed up to the game in a Rod Smart “He Hate Me” jersey. This has all the makings of another upset. All Mason could do was watch as Tripucka raced out to an early 8-4 lead.
But you should know by now that nothing in this tournament makes sense. What happened next can only be described as an act of God. As Tripucka was standing at the top of the key performing one of his seemingly endless ball fakes, the enormous scoreboard that hangs over the court fell from the sky, crashed into a million pieces and burst into a huge ball of fire. Amazingly, nobody was seriously injured. Tripucka received the worst of it when one of the flames fried his precious afro. After a lengthy delay the game resumed except Tripucka was sporting a bandana covering his now bald head. The flames had destroyed his trademark perm.
The crash must have sparked Mason because it was all him after the break. Tripucka was a shell of his former self and failed to score another basket. Tripucka yelled towards the sky, “perms of power, perms of power, why have you failed me?” Could it be? Did Tripucka really get all his power from his hair? It appeared that way. Mason went on to win 11-8.
Game 2 – Larry Johnson vs. Baron Davis
The fans in Charlotte were giddy with anticipation over this duel. This game featured the two most explosive players in Charlotte history, two guys that love to play above the rim. I smell a couple of shattered backboards.
On the first play of the game, Davis crossed Johnson over and threw down a monster jam. Before the rim was done shaking Johnson stole the ball and threw down a monster jam of his own. I’m not sure these guys should even try to shoot a jump shot. Back-and-forth they dunked on each other like a high school all-star game until Johnson went up for a dunk and came down grabbing his back. That’s not good. Not the back again. On the next play Davis drove past an aching Johnson and went up for a dunk only to come down grabbing at his back. Not you too. This changes everything.
Both players, despite being basically crippled, refused quit. The display of incredible athleticism was replaced by a couple of hobbling gimps jacking up 2 point bombs. Now both players were going back and forth hitting jumpers. The game was tied at 10 and Davis had the ball. He shot a 2 pointer to win the game but it rattled in and out. Johnson grabbed the rebound, ran out to the 2 point line and pumped, drawing Davis into the air. Johnson then leaned in, absorbed the contact and buried the shot from 25 feet to win the game 12-10. Johnson put his left fist against his right elbow and ran off the court.
The Final – Larry Johnson vs. Anthony Mason
The game pitting Larry Johnson against Anthony Mason featured a battle of epic proportions. Not since Godzilla vs. King Kong… no, wait… not since Alien vs. Predator… no...not since Manute Bol vs. William “the Refrigerator” Perry have we seen anything like this.
From the opening bell this game was vicious. On his first drive to the basket, Johnson was clobbered across the back of the head by Mason. On the next play, Johnson again beat Mason off the dribble and again Mason clobbered Johnson, this time slamming him to the floor. Johnson returned the favor the first chance he got. It was now clear that neither player was going to allow the other to get a clean shot off. This was getting real ugly and fast. Johnson, who was irate, screamed at Mason, “If you don’t want to play basketball then I guess we have to settle this like men.” The die was cast. There was no other way to settle this. This would be the first championship game decided by a boxing match.
The event organizers quickly scrambled to make a boxing ring out of parking cones and duct tape. It wasn’t pretty but who cares…we got a fight. “Fight, Fight, Fight!” In the teal corner we have the strongest player to ever sport a Charlotte uniform… Anthony Mason! Mason came out of the tunnel, led by a giraffe and a pack of strippers. He had shaved “I’ll eat your children” in the side of his head. In the purple corner we have former Dallas Golden Gloves boxer…Larry Johnson! The crowd erupted. Johnson came out of the tunnel riding on the back of Muggsy Bogues, who was crawling on his knees like a miniature pony. You’ve got to hand it to these guys. They know how to make an entrance. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (I’m going to get sued for that.) Ding, Ding!
Mason was the aggressor from the start. He came at Johnson hard, swinging wildly, like Tonya Harding in a truck stop bathroom. Johnson, with his boxing training, just floated around the ring bobbing and weaving, like a seasoned veteran. Johnson was basically daring Mason to land a punch…and then Mason connected with a right hook to the jaw. Johnson fell to his knees in a daze. He stayed down for a couple of seconds making sure his head was still attached, but something wasn’t right. As Johnson slowly started to get up, a sparkle in the corner of the ring caught his eye. It was his infamous gold tooth, which lay motionless on the floor. A tear started to swell in Johnson’s eye. His beloved gold tooth was gone. The referee counted on….5…6…7. Johnson stood up and turned toward Mason, who at this point was laughing and had no idea the tooth had been lost. Johnson smirked, exposing the newly formed gap in his teeth. Mason’s laughter quickly turned to fear, an emotion he was not familiar with. Gulp! In what seemed like slow motion, Johnson charged toward Mason, wielding 250 pounds of toothless rage and anger. In one mighty blow to the face Mason was knocked out cold and fell to the floor. Out of nowhere, Chris Tucked repelled from the rafters, jumped into the ring and while standing over Mason, shrieked “YOU GOT KNOCKED THE… (Well, you know how it goes.) It was finally over. Larry Johnson is the best Charlotte player of all-time. Where’s Mandy the Honeybee?
Winner: Larry Johnson |